Friday, February 6, 2009

Day 6: Deflating Words?

". . . whatever ye do, do all to the glory of God." 1 Cor. 10:31b

Do you recognize and appreciate your husband's creativity? Or do you criticize and demean his efforts? Instead of negativity, determine to be positive. Perhaps you can help your husband see that his efforts are an opportunity to glorify God.

Is your husband the "creative" type? Does he have any artistic gifts? What is that special "knack" he has? Affirm him for his handiwork - a hobby, music, gardening, tinkering with cars, working with wood, etc. Remember: Even if he doesn't measure up to your standards, praise his efforts. If your budget allows, buy him a book or magazine that will continue to encourage his special skill or talent.

If you have a hard time finding his "creative side," understand that men's creativity sometimes is related to their work. Find something he does to make his job run more smoothly or something he does that adds value to his work . . . and let him know that you have noticed.

Make his day . . . Praise his accomplishments in public, while he is listening.


I wonder how often I "deflate" my husband's creativity, how often I confirm his insecurities unintentionally with my quick responses to his ideas. A year ago I read this article that really made me more intentional about my words in praising his creative sometimes "crazy, really far out" ideas(believe me he has had some of those amazing ideas :0). Here is a quote from Shaunti Feldhahn in this interview by Nancy Leigh DeMoss...

What I have found, honestly, is that so many guys go through life with sort of a secret insecurity. This issue of how we as women communicate with them is such an enormous part of how they think we feel about them. We may absolutely respect our husbands or trust our husbands but have no idea that we’re going through our day communicating the opposite.


Today I am going to remember the effect my words have on him. For my husband right now this is so important as he daily needs my encouragement and praise in his ideas with serving God in preaching and teaching the youth here. It is honestly hard sometimes because I have my own ideas as well, but I want to be sure to present them in a way that doesn't "deflate" his ideas and discourage him and to esteem his ideas first and foremost above any of mine. He is amazing! I pray God will bring these things to the front of my mind and allow me to see them in the moment, because it is so easy to recognize these things and say them out loud and then leave them behind.

Let us seek to inflate instead of deflate our husbands creative ideas and creative sides, can't find his... listen and watch closely... what things does he love to do but doesn't do often maybe because he is unsure of himself.

JOYfully in Him,
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3 comments:

Anonymous said...

KEEP PRAYING FOR ME. I HAVE MADE IT TO TODAY WITH OUT SAYING MUCH NEGATIVE TO HIM. I ALMOST SLIPPED UP ON DAY 2, BUT GOD REMINDED ME OF MY GOALS. IT HAS BEEN KINDA' HARD BECAUSE I HAVE FELT SO BAD WITH THIS COLD OR WHATEVER IT IS I HAVE!
REALLY ENJOYED LAST NIGHT!

JavaMama said...

I have a feeling that after this weekend I will struggle pretty hard with all of these things again. This week has been to busy to really have time to deal with any of these... after this youth ralley things will slow down. I pray for you and me and all of us to have His strength to intentionally and very causiouly and carefully walk through this challenge.

It is so encouraging how God is using this challenge in my marriage in those around me.

JOYfully in Him,
Kelli

JavaMama said...
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