Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Day 4: Words

" . . . let him labor, working with his hands what is good . . . "
Eph. 4:28

We are all accountable for the things we say, both negative and positive words. Have you embraced the challenge to speak only positive things to your husband and to others about him? Here's a suggestion that touches the core of your husband's world.

Some women take their husband's career for granted, and they show it in many ways. Do you "dump" on your husband at the end of the workday, or do you strengthen and encourage him with your words? A wise wife will make her husband feel that she values and appreciates his work. Let him know that you are glad he is a hard worker. Take opportunities to praise his diligence and resourcefulness to others.

If your husband is out of work, unable to work, or refuses to work, you'll need to be more creative. Praise him for a character quality that you see in him that would be a vital part of a successful career—such as persistence, decisiveness, strength, an analytical mind, organizational skills, good with people, good listener, determination, etc.

Do you "dump" on your husband at the end of the workday, or do you strengthen and encourage him with your words? This is something that I really need to work on. I have gotten into a very bad discouraging habit of "dumping" all of the days dirty laundry on him when he gets home or when we have free time in the evening. I am meditating a lot over the scriptures concerning the tongue and am realizing the power they have on us, and I know that discontented words brought to my husband each night is not edifying and building up. I realize that he works HARD with in his heart especially to serve God and it is discouraging when I pour all of my hearts discontentments and aches all over him on a daily basis with the intentions to gratitfy my selfish desires of what is called "venting".

Gracious words are like honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body. Proverbs 16:24

There is a time to express our hearts concerns and discontentments but not everyday and always carefully each word soaked in grace and love for the glory of Christ and strengthening of hearts and not tearing. Here are some things to consider before we decide to "dump"...

Is this something that needs his attention right now?
Where is my heart in presenting this to him?
Can this issue really as important as it feels or am I being deceived?
Have I sought God's counsel first, spent time with Him about these issues today?

I really need to learn to cast all of my cares on Him my stronghold first and allow Him to work in my heart and then when I have heard from Him through earnestly seeking Him then may I take it to my husband. I believe it is an illusion that our husbands need to know everything that is going on or went on and that we need to release those to him in order to feel content and satisfied. I want my husband to be drenched in honeycomb as much as possible, built up and encouraged by the words that flow from my mouth, I really pray that all other issues in my heart will settle on their own with God's wisdom and power of His Spirit and that bringing them to my husband will be few and fewer. Okay, I am not saying do not talk and spend time with your husband and discuss serious issues with him when he gets home, I am just encouraging you to really consider your words, your heart and motives and spend your time wisely... focus more on him (and ultimately HIM)... ask him how his day was...what are his needs... his concerns... use all of those possibly empty words that you were going to use and that time wasted to praise him and build him up!

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer. Psalm 19:14

Set our minds on pleasing HIM with our words... which will come out of the medititation of our hearts... what are you meditating on?

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Sarah said...

"Dump" is a great way to put it. It is like I have all of this junk that I don't want to deal with, so I dump into his lap as soon as he gets home.

I am not an encourager by nature....I always feel like people should just suck it up. :-) So I really have to work at encouraging others and looking for times to say good things.

Thanks for reminding me of this!!!

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JavaMama said...

Awesome!! Praise God!!