The Angry Mother

This morning while folding Butterfly’s clothes I found myself becoming increasingly irritated which isn’t new. I had a twitch in my left eye that was constantly nagging me but even more irritating was the sin that continually nagged me and attacked me through out the morning even at my twitch. Superman and I are going through a study on anger and I am so frustrated with how hypocritical I have been, I can only imagine him listening to me and thinking, if he knew and understood this phrase, “Live what you preach!”. Ashamed, I folded, humbled I folded. I admit that I have a continual battle with anger welling up inside of me and it is constant. I very quickly become overtaken by the irritation and it swells into harsh anger but what I find amazing is that I can contain it in public very easily. Sitting enclosed in my little bubble at home I find that I feel safe to explode on the ones that I love the most and know that even though they will “see” me they will still love me where as outside of my bubble they may not be as nice.


We have been looking at examples in the bible, Cain and Abel, Jacob and Esau, King Ahab and Naboth and even though I know that I would never kill anyone, bitterness and hatred does grow pretty rapidly if I don’t gain some control over it. And thinking on what Jesus said in the Sermon on the Mount I am reminded that I have already committed murder in my heart and then I am further reminded of my memory verse a few weeks ago: “Guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life” and fear that I have not been guarding my heart from the sin of anger and it is obvious by my life. Today I thought "This is not who I want to be". I feel like Paul when he says in Romans 7:15-18 I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. The Lord is working on me and I just pray that He will reveal to me what it is that I need to do in order to be more focused on taming this sinful behavior.