Tuesday, March 17, 2009

An update and Birthday post

This week has been clouded, literally and spiritually. I am in a place where every moment is taken and busy in mind and in physical motion and I find myself consistently and overwhelmingly exhausted... tired... dry... weary... faint (at times) and just longing for a break, a moment to simply inhale and exhale, to meditate, to soak in the beauty of this moment.... sigh.

The Lord has been teaching me so many things about what it means to seriously live for Him and die to self, through my marriage and through new relationships, things on LOVE and sacrafice. My life is a constant battle ground of flesh and spirit of pride and humility and the battles are bloody and painful. For the last 2 weeks I have been meditating on Hosea 10:12 "Break up your fallow ground, for it is time to seek the Lord, till He comes and rains righteousness on you." I can not tell you how the Spirit has been working on my heart so intricately through His words of truth and wisdom. This last week we were so blessed by a friend who came out and tilled us up a garden and as I think back on all the work they did, a full days work in a constant drizeling rain, I am experiencing the Spirit doing the same in my heart... breaking up my fallow ground, tilling up the clay and mixing in good soil so that fruit can grow.

I know I never followed up with my husband encouragement challenge post but I trust you the few of you, my dear friends, understand. Today is my sweet baby angel's birthday, my now 2 year old Butterfly. My heart is so full of joy for this little girl that brings such a unique ray to our sunshine. She is teaching me so many things, to smile when I don't always feel like it, to be gently when harshness is my tendency and to simply just enjoy when the business of life calls. She has a presence that can not be ignored, I praise God for our little Butterfly:





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3 comments:

Robin said...

Happy Birthday Butterfly. I can't believe she's 2. I remember when you were pregnant with her.

My boy has taught me so much about the Lord and His love for me. I'm glad God uses our kids for such things.

Take care.

crystal said...

Oh yes I do understand...on all the things. I have been in that cloud alot lately and it seems to be getting worse and not better..But I keep praying knowing that it will get better with HIS help...and dying to self...thats hard..not that I have accomplished it but just the process is tough...especially when the controlling side of me is coming out stronger with all my struggles.
As for following up on the challenge...I do fully understand. I think I may have posted like 3 days of it...so...

And Happy Birthday to Butterfly! My youngest Jason is like that. Teaching me patience and to stop and enjoy life when I otherwise would have kept going. I had someone ask me one time how I could be so thankful and so joyous over an "accident" because yes Jason was not on purpose...he was truly given to us by God....and that is what I tell them..I love my girls and I cherish them dearly but God knew I would need Jason as a constant reminder to stop and Pray and to smile and Thank God for all of his Blessings!

Sorry for the long comment, I just related so much to this post...

Many Blessings
Crystal

tonsofsons said...

in re to....

Today is my sweet baby angel's birthday, my now 2 year old Butterfly.

I hate to burst your bubble, but your butterfly is now 3.

Praying for you and your family.

Jill